Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
