i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
