Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
