then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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