He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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