Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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