hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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