remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
