my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize