i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
