Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
