Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
