Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
