It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
