When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
