the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Barsexuality is the new black.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
