Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
