She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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