My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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