Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize