Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
being pregnant is like rehab
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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