Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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