I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
