she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
