I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
