Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
