I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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