The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
