we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
