I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
