I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
