dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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