Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
