so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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