Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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