I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
