as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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