is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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