how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
