I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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