You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
3 2 1 whiskey
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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