His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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