Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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