Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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