he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
