shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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