It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize