There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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