cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you would pick up someone in the library
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
