I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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