well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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