hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
