I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
