I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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