Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
