So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
