It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
