I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize