Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize