His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
