you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
