so explain again why im purple
no
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
