apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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