What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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