dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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